Not in your stomach !!

a totally not sexist sammich and is delicious and edible 100%, yasssssss

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thecompanionsdoctor:

thecompanionsdoctor:

Whenever my friend says goodnight to me on Skype he sends me this gif

image

and I wanted to send it to him tonight so I went to Google “black man turning off lamp” but Google autofill changed it to “black man turning into jet” and I got this

image

Long story short it’s 1am and I’ve been laughing at this for approximately 20 years

Which one of you assholes brought this back

(via smosh)

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blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND

FLOOR IT?

NICK NO

HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND

NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN

I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES

NICK P L E A S E

(via asahinaaoi)

Permalink perchu:

you could read this from right to left or left to right and it doesnt matter. it doesnt matter
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sassykardashian:

sailingonsuccess:

sassykardashian:

Science side of tumblr how do I become a jellyfish

Jellyfish have no brains. You’re already pretty close.

Okay WOW

(via thats-so-meme)

Permalink bearie-attack:

thenimbus:

rainboo-ashe:

I’M UNCOMFORTABLE

This hurts me

stop
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dickpong:

dickpong:

THIS STRANGER JUST OPENED MY FRONT DOOR PETTED MY DOG SAW ME AND LEFT

i just met my step-brother for the first time

(via dutchster)

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